The Power of Awareness

I'm still here. Thirteen years after my diagnosis with DSM IV,  Bipolar Type I. I am still here. I am astonished. And grateful.

I have had a good run thus far -- I got through being laid off, I pivoted my career. I kept my diagnosis hidden from partner, he's now my greatest source of support.

I find myself in an global era of social, political, and economic instability that puts many of us -- with mental illness -- in a more vulnerable position.

Environment matters when you have bipolar disorder.  Every factor in your environment affects you -- physically, mentally, socially -- in one way or another, at different times. Being aware of the dynamics and subtleties of that is critical to managing.

That is not easy. I have had to work tirelessly at that.

Managing my bipolar disorder has been for me about managing my sensitivity to factors that are beyond my sphere of control.

Awareness is the single most important tool that has enabled me to manage the last thirteen years of my life. Awareness paves the way to actions. Those actions become options.  Having options is empowering. That means being in control.

I didn't have a choice in being diagnosed wth a mental illness. My life unraveled, in a way and for reasons that I could not control.  I didn't have much control of my environment then, but I do feel I have a better sense of awareness now.  I am aware of my options.  Sometimes this is about avoiding a situation or person all together.  Sometimes this is about purposefully choosing to do something that will make me feel better than worse. Sometimes it's just being accepting that there's a storm ahead, being aware of that, and trusting that I'll get through it.