PRICKLY
5.15.07
Today I feel prickly. Exhausted. Grumpy. Moody. Irritated.
I am, quite frankly, very tired of the tedious routines and responsibilites that make up my life. I am tired of thinking about what to cook for dinner and going to birthday parties having meaningless conversations and the science fair and the stupid luau party fundraiser. I am tired of being strong and positive and smiling and saying good morning and staying focused and talking about schools and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
BLAH.
I want to wear a shirt that says "F off. I'm in one of those moods (again)." I want to leave post-its on the Hummers parked on campus that say, "What a wasteful, environmentally toxic piece of fat crap you are."
I want to visit blogs that are happy and oblivous and la-la that say here's-what-I-did-with-so-and-so-at-such-and-such and post an anyonymous comment that says: "Who gives a flying squirrel's ass what you do. Get a REAL life and stop taking up space."
I don't want an explanation for my "mood." I don't care if this is because I am bipolar. I don't care if it's PMS. I really really really don't care. WhatEVER.
I am taking my mouthful of pills that does god knows what in my brain and am going to sleep.
Labels: foul mood
6 Comments:
i hate hummers too.
Hey - I've got a serious hypomania going, let's do some shots and get mean-obnoxious. For old time's sake.
I am doing some rockin' intensive outpatient program this week and next. I love group. I want to have a recliner delivered and order pizza. I feel so normal and accepted there. Too bad I have a whole entire life to return to... How do you take what you learn out into the world? I am so damn humble, insightful and perceptive in this place, why do I fail to function in my home life so miserably? I have discovered I am an anger and attention addict. But I feel more sarcastic, dark and smart when I am hypermanic or angry. Stop on by my page some time soon, while the writing is still good!
Thats what i feel like right now too..
Just checking in and hoping you're feeling better! :)
It is a mood disorder we share. I used to feel the same way on the subway as a teenager. As long as you manage to restrain the urge to act on some of the less socially constructive impulses you'll be just fine... :-)
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