My Mom is in a Mixed Manic State

My Mom is in a Mixed Manic State

You'd think I'd have words to say but I cannot find the words.  You'd think I'd be able to tell you how I feel, what this feels like but I can't.  All I know is that I have to keep writing and pushing those feelings aside or I'll completely fall apart, it will hurt and my face will get all puffy as well as my eyes and so here I am.  Typing.

Another few years has past since my last post.  And there is so much to say that it is cliche to say that.  Of course there is.  Not much?  Ha!  I'm doing pretty well. I told my son today who is now 17 and all be 18 in July who was only 4 when I was diagnosed that I've comet to trust that the first answer in almost always the right answer -- well if you have good instincts.  

My mentor once told me, "Elle you have good instincts. Trust them.

My instinct is that I need to get to my mom ASAP. That she needs to go into a hospital ASAP.  That she needs to be cared for ASAP.  I am going to text my sister and my brother. Let's get her into a hospital, ASAP.

Our mom is in a mixed manic state.

How did this happen?  I will tell you.

It all starts with my dad. In 1965 in the midst of the Vietnam War, sometime close to the Tet Offensive -- before? After?  Either way it is a miracle that my dad was in the Army, a miracle that he ended in the United States, a miracle that he escaped slavery, a miracle that he earned a college degree, a miracle that he raised three accomplished chilled, a miracle that he manages to grow vegetables in every and any kind of soil, a miracle that he survived a stroke. 

And that is what brings us here. To my mom. My mom whose heart broke and head imploded with my dad had a stroke.  And I have to find a way to put her back together again.  She helped me through all my ups and downs, celebrated my accomplishments, supported me with whatever harebrained idea I wanted to pursue -- even now.  This idea that became a startup that is trying to become a company. The tips she earned as a housekeeper is what inspired me to find a way for tipped workers to recover their tips.

It's not about tipping, it's about expressing appreciation.

Back to my mom.  And yes at some point I will go back over all that stuff I dropped above and tell you the stories behind the story.

Right now, though, I've got to help my mom. She is in a mixed manic states.  She needs an anti-psychotic and we have to figure out the best way that can happen.