Boots For Weathering Storms
08.30.08
Looking through the pictures that I took with my camera this summer, I find it both harrowing and amazing that I made It through the past few months -- barely, nearly, and still standing. I waded and weathered through yet another unexpected hurricane, one of tremendous emotional stresses and triggers. Thinking back to May, some form of episode was inevitable, though I tried everything I could with those around me, to prevent it.

The abandonment of my husband of 12 years, the discovery of his lies and affair, the temporary removal of custody of my son, the unspoken fear and panic of my parents and family, the betrayal and loss of a best friend, the physical suffering and consequences of another episode and the side effects of an unprecedented level of medications. This time around, however, I feel stronger and my rebound back to life and reality is, for some reason, smoother and less bleak than my recovery in 2005, after that other hurricane, Katrina.

I find myself wondering, why hurricanes appear and feature so powerfully and suddenly, in both a metaphoric and physical sense, in my life and bipolar struggles. Now there is Gustav on the horizon. I can only hope that, like me, the people who are awaiting its impact will be more prepared than that last hurricane. But we all know, that with both nature and our bodies, nothing is ever certain or predictable. We can only hope and put our best foot forward, with the resources we have and the knowledge we know.

For those of you who have been checking in, wondering what and how Polarimbi is doing, thank you. I survived, and continue to do so. I hope that the stories of my continuing journey to love, laugh, and live with myself are providing you with some insight and understanding that can help you and the ones you love. Namaste.