I want to be here right now, breathing in the moist air, the moss, the earth.  I am in the third week (?) of a depressive episode, and wading through it.  I am in a relationship with someone who doesn't know about the dark side of me, so I can't really talk about or share my struggles with him. The task I continually face is disentangling what is "his," what is "mine," and what lies at the intersection, what feels like a crossroad. It's like the roots underneath these trees, stubborn and intertwined with everything in my life.  I wonder what has become of the others who used to blog years and years ago, they are no longer there.  I wonder where they are.  I am still here. I am still surviving.  I am one of these trees. I will live on and weather this storm.